Excellence vs. Perfection: Glorifying God in Our Actions

Let Go of Guilt and Shame

In this episode of the Confidence in God podcast, host Julie McGhghy explores the difference between striving for perfection and aiming for excellence in our efforts to glorify God. Through the biblical stories of Rebekah and Martha, she illustrates how serving with excellence enhances our relationships and pleases God, while striving for perfection can lead to guilt, shame, and strained relationships. Julie also provides practical steps based on 2 Peter 1:5-7 and other scriptures to help listeners develop a mindset of excellence. She concludes by urging listeners to let go of perfectionism and embrace a journey toward Christian maturity. For those struggling with feelings of guilt and shame, she recommends the episode 'Understanding God's Expectations, Letting Go of Guilt and Shame.' 

00:00 Introduction to Confidence in God

00:23 The Struggle Between Perfection and Excellence

02:45 Rebekah's Story: Serving with Excellence

04:09 Martha's Story: Striving for Perfection

05:34 Comparing Rebekah and Martha

08:59 Biblical Insights on Excellence and Perfection

11:22 Signs of Perfectionism and Its Impact

12:38 Conclusion and Encouragement 

Transcript

0:00

Hello and welcome to the Confidence in God podcast. I am your host, Julie McGhghy, and our goal today is to help you walk with confidence in God. Today, I'm happy to be able to share with you the stories of two women who illustrate to us the difference between doing things perfectly and doing them with excellence. As Christians, many of us strive to do all things to the glory of God as the apostle Paul taught in his letters to the churches, yet we often find that we struggle to meet our own expectations of what that looks like. When we do something that doesn't appear or turn out as wonderfully as we would want it to in order to glorify God, we often get frustrated and we might even talk down to ourselves, treating ourselves as if we had failed, even worse as if we were failures. Possibly when we are working with a team of people, we may get frustrated with other members of the team if they aren't putting the same effort into completing the task in the way that we view as glorifying God. Even though we may not say anything to the other person, our attitude tends to seep out of us, and the person or the whole team may become disgruntled. So I hope that today I can help you recognize the difference between glorifying God by reaching toward excellence versus striving for perfection. Before jumping into these two stories of these women, I wanna refer you to another confidence in God podcast episode you might find helpful. When I have talked or written about this topic in the past, people often bring up feelings of guilt and shame. If you are a person who struggles with such feelings, you may find the episode titled Understanding God's Expectations, Letting Go of Guilt and Shame to be helpful. Check out the link to it in the show notes if you would like to listen to it. Alternatively, you can find it on your favorite platform where you listen to podcasts. The two women I'm going to talk about today are Rebekah and Martha. They didn't know each other. They didn't even live near each other or even at the same time. And they both tried to do their best in everything they did, but they took different approaches to do it. Two different approaches we can learn from in order to be confident that we are glorifying God. In Genesis 24, we read about Rebekah. She went to the well to draw water, which was her usual task. When she arrived, a man was there. He asked her for a drink of water because Rebekah was committed to doing her best at whatever she did, or what we would say is that she was committed to doing everything for the glory of God, she hastened to draw water for him. She didn't do it do so leisurely or begrudgingly. She quickly provided the water. Rebekah didn't stop when the man was satisfied. Instead, Rebekah offered to do more. She didn't ask if the man needed her to do it or if the man would allow her to do it. She didn't even say she would go to get help to do it. She merely said she would do more. She would water the man's camels, also drawing water until the camels were done drinking. Even when doing more than the man asked her to do, she still hastened. She didn't slow her efforts because she was merely tending to the animals. She hastened to fill the trough, going back and forth, to and from the well until the camels were done drinking. Then in Luke 10 we read about Martha. Now she didn't have to be asked to do anything. When Jesus came to visit, she already had in her mind what needed to be done and knew how to do it perfectly. Like Rebekah, Martha quickly set her hand to the task. She began preparing the perfect meal to serve her guest, but she didn't do it with quite the same attitude as Rebekah. There was much to do. Martha glanced around to see who was going to help her get it done. When she found her sister sitting at the feet of Jesus with no intention of helping Martha, she marched straight to Jesus and begrudgingly asked him, and I paraphrase, Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Martha did not discreetly and respectfully approach her sister directly to ask for her assistance. Instead, Martha went straight to Jesus and accused him of not caring about her situation. She then went a step further and demanded, demanded that he instruct her sister to help her. What was the difference between Rebekah's and Martha's approaches? Rebekah sought to serve with excellence? Martha sought to serve perfectly. The approach we choose to serve with makes all the difference in the world. Although the quality of service may appear the same, the impact on our relationships and the consequences of our service may be very different. Excellence is the quality of being very good at something. Perfectionism on the other hand, is the refusal to accept any standard short of perfection. Since we are called to do all things to the glory of God, according to one Corinthians 10: 31, it is important to understand which of these approaches glorifies God, and we can tell that by the results of our actions. Rebekah served with excellence. Her excellent service resulted in high quality service and building a relationship. The man and the camels were quickly satisfied. Their needs were met, and she built a relationship with the man. Because of her demeanor and response, he felt comfortable that she was the one to be the wife of his master's son. She became the wife of Isaac, one of the patriarchs of Israel, and gave birth to another one, Jacob, who God named Israel. Rebekah's excellent service, glorified God. Martha, on the other hand, strived to serve perfectly. There is no doubt that the service she provided was of high quality. She put the perfect meal on the table for her esteemed guest. She likely received many gracious compliments. But in the end, she damaged her relationship with her sister and with Jesus. In fact, Jesus had to correct her publicly for her incorrect approach. Her perfect performance brought attention onto herself, but did not glorify God. There is a world of difference between doing something with excellence and striving to do it perfectly. As I already mentioned, when I've written or spoken about this topic, I have received many comments from people who strive for perfection. It seems many Christians struggle with feelings of disappointing God when they're not able to achieve perfection, yet perfection is not His standard and perfection does not glorify Him. Those of us who struggle with perfection need to rethink our approach. In order to be confident that we are glorifying God in everything we do, we need to stop pursuing perfection and simply serve with excellence, striving to see the needs and tend to them without having to be asked. Go the extra mile. And let God be glorified, not ourselves. Now stay with me just a couple more minutes as I share how we tell the difference between serving with excellence and striving for perfection. In 2 Peter 1:5-7, the apostle Peter tells us how to develop excellence. First, we act by faith and diligently seek virtue, developing knowledge, self-control, patience, godliness, brotherly affection, and Christian love. These characteristics were evident in Rebekah when she hastened to fetch water for this man and continued doing so for the camels. These characteristics build upon each other as we continue diligently leading to the knowledge, then to patience, then to godliness, et cetera. Excellence also includes honesty, according to 1 Peter 2:12. When we act in faith and diligently pursue the above characteristics of excellence and speak honestly with all people, our good works will glorify God. As Rebekah did, when we pursue excellence, we speak honestly and kindly to others, and we take responsibility for our actions. By our actions, attitude and behavior, God is glorified. Perfection, on the other hand, is striving to achieve an unachievable standard. It is striving to be flawless, which is not consistent with the biblical concept of perfection. When the Bible speaks of perfection in us, it is generally referring to maturity. In Ephesians 4:12, the Apostle Paul describes the gifts the Lord gave for perfecting of the saints. This perfecting is the maturing of the saints, fully equipping them to do the work of the church. The Amplified Version of Matthew 5:48 helps us understand that when Jesus called us to be perfect, He was calling us to grow into"complete maturity of godliness in mind and character, having reached the proper height of virtue and integrity." This biblical perfection is more akin to excellence, not flawlessness. We can tell we are striving for perfection instead of excellence when we do not tolerate our own mistakes, when we berate ourselves and constantly pick at our own work because it is never quite good enough. Also, when we see our relationships with other people suffer, especially those who are close to us or who must work with us. This happens because we impose our own high unachievable standards on everyone around us, and they cannot measure up, causing both you and them frustration. Another sign of perfectionism in our lives is that frequent feeling of disappointing God. A dear friend of mine once pointed out to me that we often find our prayer time being ineffectual because we replace fervency with apology. This damages our relationship with God because we're not growing in him praying for others and for his will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. Instead, we are constantly in repentance, not growth. Let me quickly summarize this lesson. It is really good to have it in our hearts to do all things to the glory of God, but sometimes we get confused about what that looks like. Instead of doing things with excellence to glorify God, we may find ourselves striving for perfection. Excellence glorifies God, builds relationships with other people, and helps us mature in our walk with God. Striving for perfection draws attention to ourselves, causes feelings of guilt and shame, harms our relationships with other people, and does not contribute to our Christian maturity. I encourage you today to observe your own actions, attitudes, and behavior in order to determine if you are striving for excellence or perfection. If the latter turn your face toward God and diligently pursue the characteristics of excellence, which will glorify him and lead you into Christian maturity. We can be confident we are glorifying God when we pursue excellence. If you struggle with feelings of guilt and shame and haven't already listened to Understanding God's Expectations, Letting Go of Guilt and Shame, click on the link in the show notes to access it and listen to the short 12 minute episode. That's it for today. Please take a second to subscribe to our show, so you'll be notified when future episodes come out. Also, it would mean the world to us if you would rate or review our show. That way more people can find out about it. Until next time, let's be confident in this, that he who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.